What another blog post in the same week?! Is the world ending? Nope! I have just been heavy hearted and convicted lately.
In the past month for my quiet study time I have been reading through Romans, 1 John, & Psalms. Apart from the personal convictions I get while reading. I just love these books and enjoy the encouragement and the words God speaks in these books.
I have felt particularly convicted that I need to trust God wholly and completely, because life is unsure, the world is sinful, we are stressed and there is evil and trials all over. I cannot carry on in this world by my own will or power, but I must put my trust in God, and fully rely on Him for provision, for comfort, for strength, for encouragement. Not my will or my power but His.
I must trust that God has a plan for my life. That is seriously stinkin’ hard! I often in my heart just wish for things now. I wish to be done with school, I wish to be married starting a family, I wish for a better job or a different job more money, more time. I wish, I wish, I wish. I am not content. It has been a process learning to be content with where I am, my season of life, and the current path that I am on.
Through my trials and my weakest moments I have to put my trust in the Lord. If it weren’t for Him, I honestly don’t think I would’ve made it through life this long. I would’ve had no purpose or drive or plan for my life apart from selfish desires. Without God I have no hope. But with God I find hope in each day, I find joy and blessings in the hard times. I have peace even though my health crumbles, my homework piles up, my teachers demand my attention. I have peace.
I have also had to remind myself of my faith and the enduring promises of God. I didn’t know how to put this into words, but I will try my hardest.
I want to be so sure, so grounded, so firm in my faith that I have no doubt of my salvation, that I have no doubt of who my God is. And yes, believe it or not Christians can have doubts. My biggest doubt and where I often feel unsure and feel I need help is in the absolute life I have in Christ.
How do I know, that I know, that I know, that I will never be plucked from the hand of God? How do I know, where can i get that much faith to absolutely know that God won’t change His mind and one day realize that I am inadequate and that I am not worth the blood shed on the cross. These are the doubts that I often have to battle. And I battle them with Scripture. I battle them with help from other believers, from professors, from my parents. And even though I have asked so many times how do I truly know that I am saved and that I have my salvation?
I put my faith and trust in God alone. I read His word, I let it steep into my soul, my heart, my mind. Sometimes I find myself wanting to have been a strong faithful believer for 80 years, but I want that now in my almost 21 year old life. I want a faith so strong that my faith would not be shaken by anything that Satan might throw my way.
The Scripture that is currently a balm to my soul and that has been on my mind lately is Psalm 42:1-2
“As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
Also James 1:2-4
” My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
The Lord and His word to us is Living water. It is all I need.
“We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You
Rich or poor God I want You more
Than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire
You can have all my hands can hold
My heart, mind, strength and soul
Be my all, all consuming fire
All we need, all we need, all we need is You
All we need, all we need, all we need is You”
All We Need by Charlie Hall.
I hope that y’all will continually put your faith and trust in the Lord, and that you may be content with where He has you, because ultimately He knows all and has the plan, we don’t.